whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i love accidental penises.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
