he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
