I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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