I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
