is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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