my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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