I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
