I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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