Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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