school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
