I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
