we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
