I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm eating all of the evidence.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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