no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
