You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
