If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
