we have pet lesbian snakes
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
