i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
