Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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