I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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