You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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