Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
