Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
