let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
