I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
