Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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