we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
