I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
