it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The air was thick with penises
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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