Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
