The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
