i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
