i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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