ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
