My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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