Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
