We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
