GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
why is half of my head shaved?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
