after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
