WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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