Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
