Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Define "chronic" masturbator.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
