So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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