I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
