how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
