I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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