Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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