Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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