im having a threesome with these popsicles
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
