No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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